Jimmy and the Macaroni Sandwich

I was sitting quietly at 4 am in the library working on my ridiculously underpaid translation job when Norah forwarded me this very amusing article...
So I decided to translate that instead :) Apparently I'm too sleepy to realise what I'm doing. Oh well, it's not like we were in the Government's little papers before anyway. Yallah, khalliha tekhrab, bala neela.

It's about how Gamal Moubarak is completely disconnected from Egyptian reality, which discredits him.

Just a quick word. It's interesting that the debate is NOW around whether he's good or not; it seems that we're past the debate around the 'Monarchical Republic' ('Gomhoukeya', as would say a professor of mine) and we're debating the qualities of the 'candidate'.

Is it a question of maturity, that we, as a society, are above the mere objection on the form and are now discussing the content?

I wish it was. Rather, I believe we have internalised for a fact that we will have no say whatsoever about this issue, and that, as illegal as it is to inherit power, it's still going to happen; the only argument we have left is that of 'well we don't mind you choosing for us, but can we at least get someone who is at least acceptably good?'

Sad, sad!

Well, enjoy the article. For the arabic version, just click on the image to the right.

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""The main advantage of Gamal Mubarak is that... he has none. You'll say I don't like him (and this is not true) and hence I have a negative opinion of him... Very well then, if you do like him, then tell what's his advantage!

Gamal Mubarak has participated in about 13 electoral conferences for the National Party in the past parliamentary elections; all 13 candidates he had supported by his presence, or appealed for, failed -- so much that someone suggested to him, or perhaps ordered him, to no longer appear in any such conferences in the following rounds of the elections to avoid the embarassment of defeat...

Gamal Mubarak does not have this Leader Halo, as he, quite like his father, carries on his shoulder the spirit of the traditional functionary who lacks the political 'gift'; and when he decides to play a sport, he chooses one where he merely hits the ball against the wall.
Furthermore, Gamal is not, and will not be an outspoken speaker nor a leader nor a thinker, and isn't much more than a square-jawed banker...

Gamal Mubarak was born with a golden spoon in his mouth, a silver whip in his hand, and the Power's skates in his feet; he is obeyed as he orders, everyone agreeing and kissing his boots, just like the headmaster's son in any public school..

Of Egypt, Gamal Mubarak only knows the wealthy's hangouts, the rich's neighbourhoods, the castles of the partners and the villas of the cousins;
he does not know the fava beans and falafel (taameya!) carts in Old Cairo early morn, when government functionaries gulp down their plate of beans before going to work; he hasn't eaten the macaroni sandwich in Downtown,
nor was he cheated by the kid collecting the ticket money in a microbus in Feesal, nor did he ever get angry because of the clogged Qalyub bridge on the agricultural highway, nor was he stuck in the traffic light of Salah Salem St. until he felt he grew old, nor did he ever ride the Upper Egypt train, and had the young barrow boy drop his merchandise on him and yelled at him.. then felt sorry for the boy and gave him a little money;
nor did he stand for hours at the registry office on Giza square in a very hot day, with the ceiling fan noisy as a grinder;
not was he yelled at by the employee of the Health Department who just wanted a little tip, when he went to have his daughter vaccinated;
nor did he ever listen to a cab driver at two o'clock in the morning, complaining how he was forced to work two days non-stop so he could afford the private lessons for his kid in high school;
nor did he ever love a girl in college and was rejected because she was proposed to by a guy who works for Vodafone;
nor did Gamal Mubarak ever drink the Nile's polluted water and bought a filter when he wife pressured him to, saying 'well how come your sister got one and we haven't'... Gamal Mubarak never spent his summer holidays in Gamassa - or hasn't even seen it, nor has he gone to Rass-El-Barr with the Workers' Union...

Gamal Mubarak does not know us, he merely knows his posse of billionaires who spend their summer holidays in Marbella in Spain and who think that Marina is ghetto...

This man does not know Egypt, how can we let him rule it?"