"The best thing in the entire, entire world" -- Vignette from Pakistan

In the cacophony of vendors shouting at me at the Karachi airport, he stood there smiling. A real, and pretty confident smile, through his thick brown beard. Then he said "well just come in and take a look, why not?".

I spent the next half hour picking up souvenirs and chatting with him.

"M. Abed" said his badge. M for Mohammad - a prefix for a huge number of names in Pakistan. I equally introduced myself using mine and my father's name -- when I say "Mohamed" people look at me as if expecting the logical rest of the name..

"I started at 11. I finish at 11. Then my colleague comes and he stays from 11 AM to the next morning".

"Wait a second. You're telling me you do 24-hour shifts? Are you mad?"


"No no, it's much better this way. Less than a day, no time to spend with my family. I finish at 9, get home around 10, but I can't sleep because zuhr (noon prayer) is at 12. So I wait, do my prayer, then get some sleep. Then I wake up at 4, do the 'Asr prayer, then have some food. Then get some sleep. Then I wake up to pray Maghrib, and spend the evening playing with my son, and if I want to go out with my wife, we can. Wait, I'll show you his picture".

He fiddles with his phone and shows me a couple of photos of a handsome young boy in a white shalwar kamiz, with his school bag on his back.

Abed's smile widens. It's an uncontrollable smile. And he's no longer talking to me.

"His name is Assem. He's 8. He's the best thing in the entire, entire world".

عن السلفيين و الفئران الكارتون - Of Salafis and Mice

UPDATED -- ENGLISH VERSION BELOW!

كان فيه واحد يهودي يضع الوسخ على باب سيدنا محمد عليه الصلاة و السلام كل يوم الصبح، فكان الرسول يزيح الوسخ ببساطة و يمشي. و في يوم لم يضع الرجل الوسخ فسأل الرسول عنه فعلم أن الرجل مريض - فما كان من الرسول أن زاره داعيا له بالشفاء.

هو ده تصرف السلف الصالح تجاه من يسبهم - السلف الصالح اللي على الأغلب لكان يشعر بالخجل من تصرف سلفيو اليوم الذين ينسبون أنفسهم إليهم.

لم أكن يوما معجبا بنجيب ساويرس و لا مشروعه السياسي. أولا لأن المال و السلطة مش مفروض يجتمعوا أبدا - لأن لما ده بيحصل بينتج لنا أمثال أحمد عز - بس كمان الرجل هو الجيل الثاني من أسرة علاقاتها المشبوهة بالسلطة عادت عليهم بدخل هائل (يعني مثلا: ليه موبينيل أخدت سنتين كاملتان كان لها الإحتكار التام في سوق الإتصالات المحمولة في سوق عملاق مثل مصر؟) بالإضافة للعب مشبوه في البورصة من كام سنة (ضم أسهم شركات لرفع وهمي لكمية التداول و حاجات ظريفة من هذا القبيل). بس في هذه الحالة الرجل لم يخطئ.

مش أخطأ و إعتذر: باقولك لم يخطئ.

الصورة مضحكة. أو مش مضحكة، مش فارقة. و عامة الرجل شال الصورة و إعتذر. الموضوع انتهى.

و الدين بيقولنا أن الأعمال بالنيات. و لكل أمرئ ما نوى.

خلينا منطقيين. هل ممكن فعلا ساويرس كان نيته أنه يسيئ للمسلمين؟ الراجل عايز الناس تنتخب الحزب بتاعه. أكيد مش هايقصد يشتم الناس!!

ايام أزمة الكارتون بتاعة الدانمارك (واللي ذكرت عدة مرات في سياق الموضوع ده بالرغم انها في الحقيقة لا علاقة لها بالموضوع الحالي إلا لكونها تتعلق برسوم كارتون) كتبت قائلا أن الأعمال بالنيات. و أن نية الرسامين كانت بالفعل الإساءة. و قلت كمان أني كنت هاعتبر الموضوع منتهي لو كان الخروف راسموسن رئيس الوزراء بتاعهم إتنيل إعتذر. بس هو رفض.

يعني ايه واحد سلفي - و هو ممدوح إسماعيل رئيس حزب النهضة السلفي (المقترح) - يقدم بلاغ لدى النائب العام متهما ساويرس بإزدراء الدين الإسلامي و السخرية من الرموز الإسلامية"؟" يا سلام؟؟ ليه يعني؟ ده على أساس أن ميكي ماوس عدو الإسلام؟

ولا الذقن هي اللي أصبحت رمز إسلامي؟

جاتك داهية. الذقن مش هي الإسلام. أنا مسلم و من غير ذقن أشعث. و أرفض أن أي حد يحاول يربط الدين بالمظهر بقا.

و عامة اليهود المتدينين بذقون برضه. روح اتخانق معاهم بقا بتهمة الاساءة. يلا ياض منك له!

نيجي للنقطة الأخيرة و هي أن ماحدش كان عمل من الموضوع أزمة لو ماكانش ساويرس مسيحي. من الأخر. بإختصار كدة: السلفيين عايزين يحققوا مكاسب سياسية بإظهار أنفسهم المدافعين عن الإسلام ضد ساويرس الكافر الماجن الزنديق ال ال ال.

و ده أمر زي ما قلت يدل على حقارة سياسية بس الأهم أنه لا يرضي الله و لا رسوله. قال سلفيين قال...

الموضوع بالفعل يحتاج لوقفة.

بس مش ضد ساويرس.

إنما ضد كل الفئران اللي بذقون الذين يدعون التحدث بإسم الإسلام. و بإسمي و إسمك.

خليتوني أدافع عن ساويرس، جاتكو داهية.

A non-believer would put trash on Prophet Muhammad's doorstep every morning; the Prophet would just push it aside and go on his way.

One morning, there was no trash to be found; after inquiry, the Prophet was informed that the man was gravely ill..

So he went to visit him and wish him a speedy recovery.

This is how the Salaf - the early Muslims - would behave when they were insulted. Those early Muslims would be ashamed of today's “Salafis”, who claim to be following in the early Muslims' footsteps.

Naguib Sawiris is a man of dodgy business ethics whose political ambitions I never liked much. Money and power should never mix - because they give us corrupt tycoons of the Ahmed Ezz variety.

Sawiris is the heir of a dynasty long in bed with the State - a State that bestowed such advantages on him like giving his company a complete monopoly on the nation's mobile telephony, or shady stock market dealings to artificially inflated his companies' stock trading value.

Here however, Sawiris is not at fault. (and I ca't believe those jerks have pushed me to write a post in his defense, but some things must be said).

I'm not saying that he did something wrong and apologized: I'm saying that he did nothing wrong.

The picture he posted, of a bearded Mickey Mouse and a niqabi Minnie Mouse, is amusing. Perhaps it wasn't. Either way, when informed that some people were upset, he removed it and apologized.

As far as I'm concerned, the entire issue should be over.

Islam is greatly concerned with intentions, good or bad. And each is rewarded not only according to their actions, but their intentions as well.

Now let's be logical, even if we are assuming that Sawiris is indeed a bad person: he just started a political party. He wants people to vote for him. Would he really intend to insult them? Of course not!

During the Danish cartoons debacle, which has been brought up several times despite being largely irrelevant to the issue at hand, I wrote pointing out this 'intent' issue. In that case the cartoonists did intend deliberately to insult Muslims. I also wrote that I'd have considered the whole issue closed has dickhead Danish Prime Minister Rasmussen apologized. He refused.

Some salafi guy - Mamdouh Ismail, president of the salafi Nahda party (under establishment) - has filed a lawsuit with the general prosecutor's office, accusing Sawiris of disrespecting Islam and “mocking Islamic symbols”.

No kidding! So now Mickey Mouse is an anti-Islamic symbol?

Or is it that - and this is more critical - that long beards are the symbol of Islam?

Utter nonsense. I am a Muslim without a shaggy beard and that's perfectly fine. Actually, so are the vast majority of Muslim men. Likewise, only a minority of Muslim women wear a niqab.

Come to think of it, hey, orthodox Jews sport a shaggy beard too. Go sue them for using a symbol of Islam, ha!

Which brings me to my last point: this would all be a non-issue if Sawiris wasn't Christian. Bottom line is, the Salfis of the Mamdouh Ismail variety are trying to score electoral points by showing themselves as the defenders of Islam from the heathen, Muslim-hating (etc etc) Sawiris.

Which, as I pointed, not only goes against Islamic morality, but is also telling of an immoral group with no political ethics who are willing to sow discord to win a few votes.

A strong stand is necessary. Not against Sawiris and his tweeted picture, but against those rats who have allowed themselves to speak on Islam's (and mine, and possibly yours) behalf.

End Sexual Harassment Day in Egypt: No mercy

I am furious that we've allowed 50% of our society to feel uncomfortable every single time they step out of their house.
What kind of a embarrassing weakling of a society are we?

Today is Blog Against Sexual Harassment Day so I'll keep it brief and sweet.

Sexual Harassment is a crime that is hard to predict, hard to prove, and more importantly is potentially present everywhere. It takes no skill to be a harasser - anyone can be one. So prevention by legal means - having policemen on every corner - is effectively impossible.
But when the crime has occurred and was proven, legal means can be used. And should.

So intervention needs to be two-pronged.

a. Upstream, the change needs to be societal. We need to teach people to frown upon harassment - actually to find it repulsive. It's not easy but it's unavoidable. People need to not only reject the mere idea of doing it but also of seeing it around them. For kids not to let their buddies do it because "ewww, that's gross!". For teenagers to look with disgust at their friends and say "Duuude, I can't believe you did that, you're a jerk!".
And more importantly, for people to be willing to step in and give a hand to the victim when she needs help.

b. Downstream - so post-crime - the intervention needs to be legal. And swift. And insanely harsh. Solid jail time. Treat harassers as you would treat rapists. Hell, cut their balls off and shove them down their throats for all I care. Tattoo it on their foreheads. No mercy.

We should stop finding excuses for harassers. I don't care if they're sexually frustrated or too poor to marry. That's finding excuses for criminals. And there's a thousand articles, studies, and personal stories proving that harassers are single, married, and that their victims can be young, old, hot, ugly, veiled or not, etc. Sexual Harassment is an equal opportunity crime. Everyone is potentially a victim.

NO. This ends here.

Do the 'social' interventions upstream as much as you want. But once they're guilty, khalas. Their chance is over and it's time for a ruthless reaction.

And women - need to be armed. With attitude and words, first. Stand up to your harasser. (again, I refer you to many other articles). Shame him, insult him. Kick him in the groin, punch his throat, dig your nails in his eyes (I reckon those are the basics of self-defense). Use mace. Profusely. Blind them.

We - women and men - need to fight back.

Connect!ing in Karachi: Social Media Summit #smsPk

After 4 flights and 20 hours (don't ask...) I made it from Ankara, Turkey, to Karachi, Pakistan, with a 3-hour stopover home to shower and change!

Only been there 2 days but made a number of meetings and visits, a handful of interviews (including one with Sindh TV. I wonder if it will be dubbed. Well, if you happen to speak Sindhi... :) and met a number of amazing people in various fields - from radio broadcasting to PR to tech publishing.
Karachi is not what it's made to be. Of course being Egyptian I know that western travel advisories can make any city sound like London under the blitz, so that the 'security threat' was wildly exaggerated was a given. But I next to nothing about Karachi, so had no expectations.
It has a solid Cairo vibe (with a tad less traffic), drives on the wrong side of the street, and is also a blend of 19th and 21st century, a symptom many developing cities exhibit.

Have few stories to share that I hope to write up in the next days.

But enough about that. I am here to attend Pakistan's first international Social Media Summit, also dubbed "Connect!". Tomorrow (in a few hours, rather) I will be speaking on a panel about social media and social change.
With an audience of bloggers and techies (who will, undoubtedly, grill me in the Q&A session) I pla on focusing on our role as social media users/producers to induce social change - and the main question I hope to discuss will be the 'now what?' debate that we in Egypt are currently having.

The other participant from Cairo is Rebecca Chiao, by the way, co-founder of HarrassMap and overall amazing person.
If you're in Karachi, drop by for the conference at the Avari Towers hotel. We'll have a glass of falsa juice!

Vodafone, Goha, and the Egyptian Revolution

If I were a Vodafone customer, I promise you I would've switched networks last night - after watching their latest commercial, coming from ad agency JWT, where they are taking credit for the Egyptian revolution.


You read that right. Vodafone and JWT are telling us, in a 3:59 spot, that "we're not trying to take credit for the revolution but really, we totally inspired it with our crappy ad from last year. You're welcome, Egypt".

Because the tag line was something along the lines of "our power isn't that we're number One - our power is in each one of us".
Whatever that means.

Apparently this tag line inspired people to take the streets. I mean, never mind the years of activism, the protests, the decades of cumulated grievances, the terrible economic situation, the trampled political freedoms, the police brutality, the torture, etc.
Nah.

We just watched a Vodafone Ad, and thought: "Hey! We're powerful! Let's topple the president!"


For some reason I am reminded of an old Goha joke:

Goha bet the Calif that he could spend the entire night naked standing atop the highest mountain; the Calif promised him a big reward if he did.

The next morning, having spent the night freezing his arse off on the mountain, Goha goes to collect his reward. The Calif tries to evade paying off:

"Did you meet anybody who offered you help or warmth?"
"I didn't see anything, it was pitch black - the only thing I saw was a ship passing, very far in the sea".
"Aha! So you did get some warmth from the light of the passing ship! You've lost the bet".

Goha's upset, but a few days later, he invites the Calif for a meal to reconcile.
After many hours of waiting, the Calif goes out to the backyard to see what's the deal with the food - and finds the pot hanging on the highest branch of the tree, with a small candle placed on the ground.

"What are you doing? The food will never cook like that!"

"Well if a man on a mountain can warm up from the light of a passing ship", replies Goha, "then the pot on the tree can cook from the flame of the candle".

If Goha had a Vodafone line, I bet you his punchline would've been "Well if a stupid television ad can start a nationwide revolution...."




I can't embed the ad for some reason, so here it is, on the JWT website.


Oh, I remember the ad they're referring to: actually everyone does - because it was terribly, and I mean terribly, bad. Rather long (1:30), and quite incoherent.
We do remember that it was starring Adel Emam - a sycophant who stood with Mubz against the revolution, for that matter - and that, rumour had it, the terms of the agreement with Emam was that he would not pronounce the company's name in the ad (check it out; he doesn't) so they had to come up with a new tagline that did not include the word Vodafone.

What I also remember -- is that Vodafone was among the companies to disconnect their telephone and internet service at the Government's request during the revolution.
We have not forgotten, nor forgiven. Because as a foreign company, Vodafone could've refused to abide by the Government's request. The Gov could've disconnected them anyway, but they'd at least have shown some backbone.


Watch the ad and be the judge. Then go check out the hilarious IHateVodafoneEgypt.com. You'll also find links to the JWT Cairo office, in case you want to give them a piece of your mind.


Now what about this lawsuit regarding them disconnecting their phone and internet services?