Google's joke of the night

Here is what my Google personnalised homepage gave me as a joke for tonight:

"How many Arabs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Arabs just sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews."

Comments, anyone?

Pedestrians beware, bombs dropping

Courtesy of Indymedia Barcelona - "Palestina, fins quan..?" (Palestine, until when?)

I love the 'street sign' type of poster.

That should have been a 'Slow Down, school ahead'.

Instead, we get a "Run for your life, bombs ahead"...


Which remind me - the death toll in the West Bank and Gaza since June, when the Gilad Shalit soldier boy was kidnapped, is of 350 people.

350 dead for 1 kidnapped.

Believe me, if someone sucks at math, it surely isn't the Israelis.

Irking hope

Very nice photo from Lisa Goldman's On The Face blog...

(reads 'Salam' which is peace in Arabic, inside an Israeli flag).

I have to admit: the image irked me a bit at first. Felt like there was an obvious contradiction between 'Peace' and the state of Israel which has been avoiding getting anywhere near it.

It struck me as being the same kind of irony as the "Happy Ramadan, motherfuckers" that US soldiers were writing on missiles before dropping them on Baghdad not so long ago.

Then I wondered who tagged it on that wall in Tel-Aviv. An Israeli Arab? A Jewish peace activist? What on earth did they have in mind? How old are they? Have they fought? Served in the army, spent time in prison?

Then I remembered that nationalities, countries, passports, and in most cases religion are just a random variable. We are born into a land or into a language and we're most of the time stuck with it for the rest of our lives.

I guess this yearning to peace in one's home - any home - is so basic, so necessary, so universal, that it no longer matters in which colour or language it is written...

It doesn't matter if it's carved in stone or written on a sheet of paper or on a wall, in israeli-flag-blue or in crimson red.

As long as it isn't written on the rubbles of a house in Gaza.
And that it is not written in blood.

And if that's the case then, well, then whomever wrote it has got the heart at the right place.

Da Vinci Fingerprint Reveals Arab Heritage?

... asks the Discovery Channel!

This is the Master's reconstructed fingerprint:

Some dudes in Italy with an awful lot of free time on their hands spent the last 4 years isolating the fingerprint of Leonardo Da Vinci, which is the only biological trace of the man we may know of.

And here is the funny part: according to dematoglyphics, which is the science that analyses the skin's arches, loops and whorls, the man's fingerprint displays pattern which exist in people of Middle Eastern descent, hinting that his mother was indeed a slave from the Middle East (it was common in 15th century Tuscany of to own slaves from the Middle East).

The whole stuff will be displayed in an exhibition which will begin tomorrow at the Uni of Chieti.

Here's what crossed my mind:

I wonder how many Arabs will read that article or watch the Discovery documentary and will say 'ha, he was part Arab, no wonder he's a genius!'. Let's face it, we do that sometimes: we always boast that we're the smartest but we're not given the chance to strive, and show people like Sir Magdi Yaacoub (Britain's Royal surgeon, who is egyptian - Cairo U, baby!) or Ahmed Zoweil (Nobel Chemistry Prize, 1998) to prove that.
Then, feeling a little better, we go back to our petty ethnocentric lives.

We have this thing about one person being necessarily representative of the other 75 million (egyptians), or the other 300 million (arabs), or the other 1,4 billion (muslims). Seriously, people, each person is, well, one person! We do not stand for each other, and the characteristics of one DO NOT reflect those of the others!! Gosh, this is soooo annoying! 'Erfa3 rasna' is something we hear whenever we're going away... WHAT THE HECK!!

I also wondered, on a funnier note... well, Leonardo was a homosexual! How many Arabs will say that this also came from his Arab genes?

:)

Some more Vayner pearls!!

My lovely friend Paula said that I was being too hard on Aleksey Vayner, the man with a thousand costumes and a million olympic records - and the funniest video resume on the planet (please see previous post first!).

So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and google him - a young man who is so self-absorbed must have a website of his own.
And he does: www.alekseyvayner.com . When i tried to check it out, it was down, though. Too bad.

So I was back to google and found his MySpace page! Hurray! Some vintage Vayner material!

So this is his profile photo, to the right.

Hmmm. Give him so more benefit of the doubt, I thought.

Here is what he has to say about himself, according to his online profile:

"About me:

In addition to practicing many types of Eastern Medicine, Teaching Tennis to the stars, being the second best martial arts fighter in the world, writing a book on the holocaust, being a brilliant ballroom dancer, running an investment firm, and being one of four people in Connecticut to handle nuclear waste, I started a charitable organization for children while attending Yale.
Who I'd like to meet:
I've already met the Dali Llamma, Harrison Ford, Sarah M. Gellar (I call her pookie) and the spirit of ancient warriors. "

Oooooooooooooooooooooookay.

I can live with the 'I met the Dalai Lama (did he say Dali Llamma?) and him teaching tennis to the stars. (Pffffwhahahahahaha! (that was a laughter I tried to contain but failed miserably).
Now what the heck is it about him being the 'second best martial arts fighter in the world'?
I wonder who is the first, then! Bruce Lee? Oh wait, Lee's dead! So Aleksey is number one now!!!!

The cherry on the cake, however, is his 11 page CV. Aleksey, thank you. You made me laugh so hard you actually made my day.

If you think he was funny, only 1 contact: Call him! or E-mail him!

The world's worse job (VIDEO!) application

I've got a ton to do but I just HAD TO stop and write something about this.

A Yale senior student - doesn't that school ever get tired of graduating idiots? (for those who missed it, GWBush is a Yaler) - sent an 11-page CV to UBS, and alongside it, a "brief video about why he was so special". His name Aleksey Vayner, by the way, so if you meet him (hey, the Harvard-Yale game is on the 18th of November! Anyone going? I am!!!) please LAUGH AT HIS FACE!

I first read about in Lucy Kellaway's column "business life" in yesterday's FT (monday October 23 2006).

Of course, the video was quickly on YouTube and it has gone around the world. If you missed it, here it is:




COME ON! Don't you luuuuuuuuv his video CV?? Seriously!! He titled it 'Impossible is Nothing' (ha! He stole Adidas' slogan!!) and he is dancing with a girl in bikini on his resume video!!! Dude!! Why don't you put your mensurations on the video as well, with an exclusive footage of your latest visit to the rectologist!!

The guy, of course, having 'become the internet's latest victim of mass global ridicule' has 'crawled away under a stone, from where he is muttering about privacy and law suits'.


Kellaway things he's an interesting phenomenon, and I agree but for a different reason. She sees that he is a 'warning to employers' who should be 'careful what they wish for': after all, the guy just got the big slogans on investment banks websites, the kind of 'work hard, play hard' or 'if people stand in the way of your success, remove them', etc. and spat them out. And when personified, those slogans become an ugly, stupid, ersatz of a person.

I think he's interesting because, well: he's an idiot :)
First, don't send a link to a video THIS EMBARASSING!!! It'll be out in no time! Seriously, did he really think that the HR at UBS were so dull and actually believed in this crap? Dude, they're people and the browse the internet!

Naaah, more seriously: he is interesting because this is what kids things we have to do to get a bloody job: mutter nonsense and pretend to be a machine. Whereas, for instance, McKinsey's interview includes a 'personal' section (dixit Dave) where they actually enquire about your activities and life experiences.

Young graduates actually believe that slogan crap. "Are you Morgan Stanley?" was a poster I saw in a school employment fair; I got into an argument with the jerk at the stand for their company being too conformist (and I never applied, of course).

Apparently, it takes making a fool of oneself, and pledging to live by the corporate rules is supposed to make you hiring material. That's almost sad.

Well, he finally interviewed for MSNBC! He is sooooooooooooooo fucking full of himself. Seriously, the only reason I would hire the guy just for the fun of firing him!!!!





Oh, and of course - UBS didn't offer him a job :)

Dome of the Rock on Google Earth - Eid Mubarak

I don't know about you, but I think this Google Earth programme is scarily fabulous... And I've been playing with it for a little more than an hour now.

This is my highlight of the day: the Dome of the Rock (Qubbat al-Sakhra) and the Aqsa Mosque, Occupied Jerusalem.

Cool thing from the Google people, by the way, that they situate it in the West Bank and not in Israel.
There is some decency out there after all.

Eid Mubarak, everyone. (for Egyptians: a presidential decree has decided that the official Eid wish will change from Eid Mubarak to 'Ya Gamal el Eid'. Wel 7ader ye3lem el ghayeb.)

I miss you already

Your name in the sky for 50 dollars!

Was watching a lousy film where the boy offered the girl a certificate stating that he 'officially' named a star after her (I know, awfully corny. Later the girl died from a serious disease, and that's when the film started to be interesting :)

So I googled the thing about 'naming stars'. And it turns out, there is a bunch of companies that do that! The biggest is probably The International Star Registry, which is based in Illinois and claims to have named more than a million stars so far and counts Winona Ryder and Nicole Kidman among their customers.

And for prices ranging from 50 to 130 dollars, that's a lot of money.

I wondered who gave those guys the right to name stars? And so, back to the most impressive tool of our era, google, it turns out that..
No one gave them the right. They just do it anyway.

According to this article in Wired Magazine, they just send their customers a nice certificate of paper stating that they named the star after your fifty dollars -- sorry, I meant, your loved ones; and they also send you a map of th stars with 'yours' circled in Red.

Nyark nyark nyark nyark. I love the idea. A fascinating business model, where you sell really nothing for a decent amount of money.

Arabs will remember the old film 'maganin fi na3im' (the crazy ones are in heaven) by Ismail Yassine (must have been in the early 60s, no?) where Ismail works for Tawfiq El Deqen who is the owner of the Outer Space Company (sharekat al fada2 Al 3alami!) which sold property in Outer Space. Well, that's the same thing, but those guys have better websites :)

Just for those still wondering, the only organsation allowed to name a star is the International Astronomical Union , and those guys are very happy about what the ISR and its sister scammers are doing.

Those are apparently fine with it. They say that they sell 'a novelty product' (read: an unofficial product). And they will put the name in a book of theirs, sure, why not? Just than no one will use the name. And they give themselves an aura of respectability by saying that they will register the book with.. (drumroll) "the copyright office of the Library of Congress in the United States of America." As any fool knows, or ought to, you can copyright just about anything if you fill out a form and pay the fee. Copyright merely protects the rights of authors; it doesn't mean the government vouches for what's in the books.

Actually, each and every company can 'sell' the very same star to their customers. (from space.com)
So you'll have an 'Aunt Aziza' which will also be named 'Gertrude Forever' or 'Jazz Rocks' in other companies' records.

And the scientific community, which doesn't find it particularly funny to use Aziza and Gertrude to identify stellar objects, will keep on using their coordinates. So Aunt Aziza is nothing, really, but a string of numbers that refer to the location of the light of a celestial body that died a few million years ago.

Just for info, there is, however, a real possibility to name an asteroid after someone. Bach, Mozart, Frank Zappa and John Lennon are already up there. Who said that those astronomists did not have a sense of humour?

So, there you go, you've been warned. Naming a star after someone binds absolutely no one to use that name for the star.

But according to the film, it'll get you laid, and will probably waste less time than a dinner and a film for two.

Put me on the waiting list for a couple, would ya?

Cynical quotes of the Day

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
Woodrow Wilson (1856 - 1924)
(Also known as, "I hire consultants").

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Great one. Though I would have framed it like this: One should convince (or coerce!) others to play fairly when one has the winning cards.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Darrin Weinberg
I don't know who he is, but he's got just the right dose of egocentrism... Altruism sucks. Hmmm, I should write a post about that..

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
(Haaaaaaaaa! Like what????)


(from www.quotationspage.com)

Economists on a Mission: Saving the World (no less)

So we (economists) couldn't do with just one Nobel prize dedicated for us: we had to go get the Nobel Peace Prize as well!!!!

I was literally DANCING this morning when I read that Professor Muhammad Yunus, one of the most fabulous, amazing, kind, intelling, and brilliant people on the face of this earth won the Nobel Peace Prize 2006.



Apparently, Martti Ahtisaari, former president of Finland and president of the Crisis Management Initiative, through which he brokered the peace agreement between the government of Indonesia and the Free Aceh Movement (GAM, by its indonesian acronym), was the frontrunner for the Prize. Were also tipped: Chinese activist Rebiya Kadeer, a Muslim woman championing the rights of the Uighur people in China; Bono and Bob Geldof (yeah right); the International Crisis Group; and even john bolton, whose name doesn't even deserve capital letters (nominated for some reason by the swedish former deputy prime minister) - don't get me started on what risk this son a bitch is a shame to the world, to the UN, and to the country who sent him to the UN; and Carla Del Ponte, chief prosecutor at the International War Crimes Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia. (they should have sent Bolton to Ms. Del Ponte, rather... :)
But the Nobel committee had something else in mind, apparently.
But it was a man who really changed the lives of millions of people, lifting the poor out of poverty through the creation of micro-finance, which is a system by which tiny tiny loans - sometimes as low as 20 dollars - allow their recipients to create small projects, to start a business, and, bit by bit, to lift themselves out of poverty.

This Econ professor from Dhaka, Bangladesh gave the first micro-loans from his own pocket. He later went on to found the Grameen Bank. The basic idea is simple: those people know what they need and they'r smart enough to do it. (read Sendhil Mullainathan from Harvard Uni on the economic rationality of the poor: they're not less rational than anyone else, it's merely that shocks are far stronger when you live on such a low income..)

So he decide to be the Banker of the unbankable, those whom commercial banks would reject for absence of collateral (or for no reason at all).

It works. Repayment rates are super high (90% +), higher than most commercial banks, despite high interest rates (due to high transaction costs).

He also created Grameen telecom, which provide telcom services to the poor. I will let you check out yourself!
As well as numerous other projects which made him one of the most influential and respected people in the world.
And despite all the success, it never to his head. He still dresses the way he does in Bangladesh. He connects with his clients with the same ease he connects with Heads of States - and Harvard and MIT students :)

Neither did his organisation. As I write this - 24 hours after the prize was awarded to Yunus and Grameen Bank, the homepage of the Bank remains about Microcredit, not the 1 million dollars prize they'll be receiving.

Why was I dancing this morning?
First, because it was one of the best surprises the Nobel Committee has offered us in years.

Second, because I think the man is absolutely fabulous. I met him last year (SEE ABOVE!!!) and I think he deserves the prize very much. The award is an honour to the Nobel Peace Prize more than it is to Yunus.

Third, because we have the same first name :). Actually, after Mohamed El Baradei, that makes him the second in a row to win the Peace Prize with this first name. We rock! :)

And fourth, because he is what I hope to be one day. He is a scholar, an economist, who has changed the world. He has reminded me that the true duty of an economist - of a development economist, furthermore - is not to do an economic model in the warmth of the Littauer building (that's where Harvard Econ department is, for non-Cambridge dwellers) but to go out that, to dirty one's hands, to make oneself useful. And that's the true reward of it all. Yunus will live forever, in those whom he helped change their lives, and in their children who will have a brighter future, thanks to this man they probably never heard of.

The man is a real model for us all. He stands for what our work knows best, and he is the personification of development econ.
May we have the strength to walk in his footsteps!

Muhammad Yunus: you are a role model for all of us. God bless you! And thank you, thank you so much!

Ayman Nour might get out!

Cairo, Egypt (AFP, the Daily Star).
Word has it that Ayman Nour, one of the opposition 'leaders' (as if there were really any) who finished second faaaaaaaaaaar behind the incumbent in the last presidential elections in Egypt (Sept 05), might be released from jail. The poor guy is ill.

The lad had been sentenced to five years for opposing the incumbent in question. Oops, did i just say that? I mean, for forging affidavits for the creation of his party, 'Al-Ghad (tomorrow).

He is diabetic and suffers from a heart condition.

He might be freed over the Eid presidential pardon. That's when our incumbent (you noticed, i love this word) decides that he wants to do something nice 3ashan yakhod shwayet sawab after Ramadan, since he probably missed his chance during; so he frees some people (who were probably unlawfully jailed in the first place).

Now i think he is a political joke and has no real programme or ideas of his own.
However - and that's a big 'however', right here - he stood for what 70 million people are wishing for: change. Among the 14 candidates, he seemed to be the most serious.
And he paid it dearly, and he's dwelling in prison for it. But it appears that the gov thinks he learned his lesson - and so did all others who thought of following his footsteps.

And there is something else, too. It scares the shit out of me that we can jailed this bluntly - 3eini 3einak, keda - on such bogus charges with no consideration for the people, their opinion, or even our main international benefactors (who mentioned the issue but eventually let it drop like a dirty sock). It is so apalling that this is one of the very, very cases where I would have actually welcomed some more pressure from abroad. (and those who know me know that this is BIG).

Absolute power is extremely corrupting. For when faced with no higher authority on earth, people can go the distance in cruelty and in illegality. With no Supreme Court, with no UN Security Council, well, that makes you... I don't know. Kinda like Israel, if you wish.

Nour, we'll be waiting outside. With ka7k el 3id.

Most ridiculous piece of news of the day

Maadi, Egypt (Al-Ahram): A woman has sought -and obtained - divorce (khol3) from her husband, a physician, because... he wouldn't talk to her in english.

Yes, you read right. No, he wasn't cheap - she actually testified that he's been extremely kind and generous. He just wouldn't speak to her in English. The lady is an AUC grad (that's American University in Cairo, which is a good school but surely not half as good as Cairo Uni, the state university..:) and works as a translator. So the lady seems to be lacking practicing...

On a secondary remark, I find it awkward that they mentioned in the newspaper that she's an AUC grad. Why is it that AUC is associated in the average Joe's (the average Ali, should I say:) mind that it's a posh, pretentious place? Well, it kinda is and the fact that this reputation sticks to its graduates is surely based on a little bit of truth, no? Then again, it's all in the marketing. the live on rep - that's how they attract students and that's how their grads get hired :)

Another remark is that the court actually thought that this was a good enough reason for divorce. That is kinda ridiculous.

My opinion: It's just a question of bad sex! But the lady does have quite some imagination to come with that excuse, though :)

To limbo or not to limbo

In a very interesting BBC News article, we learn that the Catholic church is considering abolishing the concept of 'limbo'.

Limbo is a place kinda between heaven and hell, where people do not suffer in hell but to not get to enjoy heaven either. The concept was introduced in the 13th Century by a french philosopher, Abelard, who criticised the idea that babies who die before they are baptised ended in hell, where all non-baptised people (which would include me, too) are supposed to be going.

First, I think it is amusing - a little sad, too - that we as humans are supposed to decide to add or abolish a country in the afterworld. Let's come up with new ideas, choose the best, and ask God to implement them!
Even better, let's create a 'Religion Development Marketplace' (name taken from the World Bank's Development Marketplace, for those who know what it is about) and have a 'call for ideas' around the world! I mean, people, seriously...

Second, it is interesting that they noted the religious marketing; to quote the article, "Some argue that the question of limbo has taken on fresh urgency because it could be hindering the Church's conversion of Africa and Asia, where infant mortality rates are high". Hmm. So it isnt about doing what's right - it's about selling a religion.

Third, my favourite bit of the whole article: "An article in the UK's Times newspaper this week suggested that the "Pope - an acknowledged authority on all things Islamic - is only too aware that Muslims believe the souls of stillborn babies go straight to heaven".
Dear God. Is it a game? Are religions 'competing' and amending their political programmes to lure people into joining them? This is quite shameful. Am not sure if He is feeling too good about that...
Rather than finding out that we all believe in the inherently same metaphysical concept - God - we go on attracting each other's 'market'.

Pffffffffffff....

Egypt's favourite single mom

I'm 6 months late -- that's how phased out from the Egyptian society i've become.. shame on me -- but I came accross this brilliant piece of news that I wanted to share:

a 27 years old young lady, by the name of Hind Al Hinnawy has won a lawsuit that apparently has been dragging in courts for the last 2 years. She was suing Ahmed El Fishawy, who is a young hip actor - kinda handsome, awful actor, but both his parents are actors and if it weren't for his parents' contacts he would have never made it in the cinema business - for the paternity of her daughter. They were married 'orfi' (secret marriage which, in my opinion, is just a way to give yourself a clear conscience to commit adultery. Lot of debate on whether it is legal or not, not my point of discussion here).

What pisses the heck out of me is that this jerk has been passing himself for some kind of religious role model, preaching for a renouveau of the faith within young people.. I had actually started to like him. People like him give guys like me a bad name.

Asshole.

It is also a great thing because it'll shake the egyptian legal system. Apparently, until this landmark case, if the father refused to recognise the child, it would not receive a birth certificate, a passport, nothing. And the court apparently cannot order the alleged father to take a blood test. But now, she has set a legal precendent - and hopefully, the court will be able, from now on, to order DNA tests to prove paternity. I didnt know we didnt have that, but it's great to know that we do!!

So, well, on May 25th, the court rules in favour of Ms. Hinnawy and declared that El-Fishawy was the father.

Quick comments:
1) This girl rocks. She's got more courage than two thirds of the society - and she has done us all a big favour. She has forced us to look to ourselves in shame, for all the women who went through similar cases but were never able to prove the partenity of their children, and had to live - and sometimes die - with the legal, economic, and mostly social burden of having a fatherless child.

2) She has made society look up to her in deep respect. And for a single mom in Egypt, that's no small thing. A single mother is now a female role model -- really, chapeau.

3) If it wasn't for who she was - she's a well educated, well endowed designer, for the support of her family (her father is an economist, her mother is a professor, and they live in Moqattam Hills which is a nice residential suburb of Cairo (which also proves a secondary point here: economists are the best:)), and for the guy she was suing, who was a public figure and consequently the story attracted a lot of media coverage. Hey, it had sex, famous people, and religion - the winner media mix in my part of the world..

No longer will such pricks as Fishawi be able to run away from the progeniture. The pig should be in jail for that (doesn't "non-assistance a personne en danger" apply for a weak child??)

Hind, thank you for having the courage to stand up for yourself and for others who have been silenced under the boots of ridiculous laws and corrupt public figures who always thought that their money could buy them out.
You rock, girl.

And also: thumbs up for the egyptian legal system - proved once again that if there is one thing that still functions well (albeit veeeeeeeery slowly) in Egypt, it is the judiciary.

Kudos to Hind!

News from around here...

Am back online!!
Not that i really was anywhere -- just i didnt have anything interesting to rant about.
Besides school, homeworks, etc, not much was going on.

Well, Ramadan is, actually! Second Ramadan in the US, fifth in a row abroad. Ha, not bad.. Let's see how long I can maintain the trend :)

It's alright, days are short, Harvard is giving us a prayer room (well, it's a room reserved for a number of other purposes as well but it's better than nothing, no?) and I'm learning to resist the free pizza events all day long (KSG people know what I mean..)

Am working in two student organisations -- well, in a bunch, actually, but am particularly involved in two of them: the Muslim Caucus, which is quite self explanatory, and the Middle East Caucus, which is a little less so -- it is basically an organisation where everyone can speak their minds FOR REAL, low on political correctness, and the best part is: the other side actually listens. I love that.
Now i was thinking -- both are the kind of things that would get me screwed in Egypt: working with Muslims (yep, anything related to Islam is inherently bad, for the Egyptian government - surprised? Don't be!) and the other is basically about having a sensible discussion with Israelis.
Hmmm. I'm starting to wonder what kind of conclusion my Amn Dawla (MI5, if you wish) file will start to look like - and under what will it be classified ;)

So, well, that's the news. Will post photos soon, promise :)
M.