If this is why you're making children - don't.

Friends who have, or are actively trying to have children will have to forgive me. I'm sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Most people, however, aren't.


We are supposed to be highly evolved creatures. We can envision the future. We know we're not doing it for the survival of the race. And it isn't a sexual impulse being fulfilled, we know how to control this - this, and birth control.
Could it be because our species still abides by a maternal/paternal (to a lesser extent) impulse?

Not all. It makes no logical sense.

The fact that it's a (near-)religious edict, to marry and make children and so on - سنة الحياة and the like - is only proof that there's something inherently illogical in the act of generating offspring: humanity needs all the encouragement - including the heavenly kind - to take the leap.

Why do people make children?

Picturing the happy months of pregnancy, and the adorable little thing subsequently produced can only be a partial explanation. Yes, you will have a beautiful baby that you will love unconditionally and that will drive you crazy but you'll still be looking forward to it. Yes, it will be absolutely amazing the first time your baby holds your finger.

But picturing the lifelong emotional roller-coaster, thinking forward to when your child is 15, full of pimples, dyes her hair in blue and declares she hates you every other hour - should be a good enough antidote to the mental image of rosy cheeks.

There must be more complex explanations. I can think of two. And neither, I'm afraid, is flattering.

We all seek to live fulfilling lives. Most try to do so through their careers.
In reality, few succeed.
A complementary source of gratification therefore comes from having children: after all, it's easy to do and is celebrated as a grand achievement!

Otherwise, why would the line "I knew my life had a purpose the minute I first held you in my hands" be such a recurrent one in father-and-son television scenes?

Precisely because the average person's life is unfulfilling, purposeless. The need to find a 'purpose' seemingly compels them to, well, generate little versions of themselves. Having children, in itself, gives them a sense of purpose, because you realise that society gives you the challenge of doing a good job raising this child which you engendered.
It's your retribution to society. You brought it here, you bring it up.

The following reason is related to the first:
The need to feel useful. Again, we love being depended upon. The go-to guy. Of course most people do it by achieving a certain level of professional expertise.

Failing this, some people will, once again, make a child. A tiny human being, so fully dependent on them for every little thing should be sufficient to provide a feeling self-worth, of usefulness.

Both reasons are not a good enough justification of having a child. Unfortunately, they probably account for more than a few


Who knows: I might have some of my own one of these days. Perhaps I'll be doing it for the right reasons, and perhaps I won't. I'll let you know.